The increasing rate of divorce in marriages is fast becoming acceptable norms in our society. And society is suffering under the consequential weight of this assault on the chastity of marriage. Some of the victims and products of this menace and dysfunctional families are the persons occupying positions of influence who should make things better. And they cannot go beyond themselves.  So with weak character they become vulnerable to practice all manner of vices to afflict society. Our value systems are eroded to the least tolerable levels.

I share with you here, two fundamental causes of divorcement in marriages

  • Undeveloped & Weakness of Relationship Skills
  • Ignorance & Unutilized Power of the Marriage Union

Divorcement in marriage is an indication/indicator of the weakness of the two parties to manage their conflict spots. When two persons (male & female) get married, they have areas of conflicts in the relationship or such areas of conflict will arise in the course of the journey.

These areas of conflict are really testing opportunities challenging the inherent abilities in the couples to resolve them thereby they can grow up in relationship skills which will add up to strengthen the marriage union. Conflicts are not for breaking up the relationship but for the strength of the relationship.

Divorce is also an indication of the height of ignorance and the negative attitude of the couples towards each other and the marriage relationship. They don’t have the understanding of the dynamics and power of the marriage covenant that bind them together.

Divorce is the death of a living relationship. Even though the couple is separated, the relationship is in their hearts. And their hearts will beat up anytime they see each other or events bring up memories of their days of togetherness.

No couple celebrates the pains of divorcement. There are pains in divorce in marriage. Its effects affect the individuals, their children (if any) and the society.

The marriage union which the two joyfully entered into with great expectations and gladness some months or years back is now before their very eyes being threatened for separation. The threat is from them either by omission or commission. Whatever the perceived cause, they allowed it. They allowed themselves to be influenced.

If the two of them understand the dynamics and power of their marriage union, they will engage it and nothing on earth can separate them. God, the designer and inventor of marriage to serve His purpose and that of mankind say so.

“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunderMatt 19:6 KJV.

There is no reason anyone can advance for divorce that is strong enough. Marriage is designed for the husband and his wife to stay together.

“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 1 Cori 7:10,11 KJV


The only premises upon which separation/divorce can occur (not pursued) in God’s economy of marriage is the death of one partner.

“For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man”. Rom 7:2-3 KJV

However, I pray that let no one lose his or her spouse through death in Jesus name. Say Amen.

The energy and the efforts and all the resources engaged in the pursue of divorcement, the same can be used or engaged in the positive direction to keep the union together. And it will be better for them and their children and society.

Each party can turn their “I cannot stay to I can stay in this relationship” It will work for them, if they can leap up out of selfishness.

Therefore, I conclude, and say to all those seeking divorce in their marriages to know that it is not worth the trouble in their lives. Do not be deceived, there is no better marriage than your own out there. The ones you are looking at are all worked out to be so.

You have what it takes and the staying power in your marriage. Stay in it, work at it and it will get better and you shall be crowned the Hero/Heroin of the marriage.

The reasons you have for seeking divorcement in the marriage are the same things God want you to confront and overcome and become better in marriage.

Stop that divorce you are pursuing with your spouse. Call yourselves to order for peace talk. Ask yourselves soul searching questions DO I REALLY NEED THIS DIVORCE IN MY LIFE? The answer you get will tell you that, THERE IS NO SENSE IN IT. It is not necessary.

#Keme CHRISTOPHER is a Marriage & Family Life Counsellor,

The lead Pastor of Family Building Mandate Ministries based in Idimu, Lagos, Nigeria.

And he says

  • There is marriage for every unmarried person due for it
  • And there are no bad marriages
  • But there are people that lack knowledge what to do
  • Seek godly counsel & prayer.
  • SMS to 08025426691 or 08135451107 for counselling appointment
  • SMS to 08090516538 or 07054051124 for online 24/7 counselling
  • Send me mail on [email protected]
  • God bless you and your marriage
  • Enjoy your marriage